4 Proven Skills to Establishing Outstanding Relationshipsexpat
Research reveals that relationship challenges pose a menace to many expat couples. The 2015 Brookfield relocation trend survey states that expats face relationships challenges, including spouse resistance to an international assignment and spouse unemployment, just to name few. When attempting to address relationship challenges, It is important to learn and apply relationship education, which allows you to shift your relationship to initiate joy, happiness, connection, love, and passion.
You develop passionate empathy
Passionate empathy is developing heartfelt understanding with your partner. Passionate empathy enables you and your partner to open up and communication at the same level of emotional intensity. It also means understanding your partner’s emotional patterns, fears, desires, values and preferences without interpretation. You place yourself in your partner’s position to feel what they feel.
It is important to constantly measure to what level you truly understand your partner. Do you score high and lead a passionate relationship? If that is the case congratulations. Keep on doing that.
If you score low and you face some challenges, it is high time you started learning and applying relationship skills and strategies.
In order to have passionate empathy for your partner, you first need to have passionate empathy for yourself. When you understand yourself, it becomes much easier to understand your partner. Understanding yourself includes understanding the 3 levels of relationship.
Level 1: Selfish love:
This is the lowest mature level in which the relationship becomes weak, because of regular dispute, blame, and conflict. In this level, the focus is mainly placed on meeting oneself. Each partner gives out of their wish for personal gain.
Level 2: Conditional love:
In this level, both partners have to do or give something to be worthy of love. It is based on a subtle transaction between the couple “you get yours and I get mine”. Love is a trade or transaction. Partners always weigh between “my needs and yours” which endangers the couple to slightly slide to level one.
Level 3: Unconditional love:
In this level, each partner’s task is to discover the other partner’s needs and find healthy ways to meet them in the possible ways expecting nothing back. Partners constantly look for new ways to understand each other. They know how to please each other. They love each other unconditionally and they need nothing to express their love.
Here is what you need to remember: Your will only be able to appreciate your partner when you start to develop passionate empathy with yourself and your partner.
In order to develop passionate empathy with your partner, you need to put your lover first.
You put your lover first
Putting your lover first means the practice of being selfless. You decide to put your lover’s needs first and your needs come second. Instead of criticizing or blaming your partner, you commit to finding the best ways to give love to your partner. Your partner opens up emotionally so that you both can connect at a deeper level. Do you need to give gifts, make gestures, touches or use certain words? You need to find ways on how to love and please your partner.
I do believe that intimacy is about giving love. The moment you give love, you will instantly feel it. Putting your partner first is the basis for initiating passion in your relationship and in the generations to come. Your children will usually model you, therefore it is important to lead by example.
Those who have children will understand what I mean. You put your children first because you think they are a source of unconditional love. The amount of love that you feel for your children, is the minimum that you need to give your partner.
Here is what I believe, you will only discover the deepest pleasure in your relationship when you start putting your lover first.
You give your partner what they really need
Giving your partner what they really need is a core skill in all relationships. After getting a certain level of empathy with your partner, it is time to discover the force that shapes your partner’s actions and behaviors. Your task is to discover and meet your partner’s needs. You need to work together to discover those needs and find healthy vehicles to meet them.
You can produce high levels of happiness, love, and passion when you constantly utilize the right vehicles to meet all your partner’s needs. In order to make this a consistent practice, you have to always be loving no matter what.
You always love your partner no matter what.
Loving no matter what will enable you to embrace the power of love and passion. Your task is to remain open and present for your partner, even during most painful situations. The biggest danger that relationships face is when one or both partners withhold love. This means when one or both partners run their relationship at levels 1 or 2. When you indulge in behaviors of criticism, judgment, blame or rejection, the relationship will start to deteriorate. If you commit to staying emotionally connected with your partner, no matter what, there will never be room for hostility, judgment or rejection.
Your relationship will flourish regardless of your life conditions, when you commit to love your partner no matter what.
Relationships play a crucial role in your life because you usually take part in a relationship. You have a relationship with yourself, or with your lover, or children. According to Anthony Robbins, the quality of your relationships defines the quality of your life. It is therefore essential to establish an outstanding relationship and work on it constantly.